To fly

I've always wanted to be able to fly. Not sure why. Not fly as in superman kinda fly ok! I've always wanted to learn how to pilot a plane! Hehehe. To be able to fly anywhere you want to, to be able to take yourself so far up in the sky where there is no one to disturb you. I can only dream of the feeling of being in the sky. I'm a nerd with 4 eyes and my hopes were dashed when I was told I need perfect eyesight in order to be a pilot. Of course now the Lasik option is always available *wink* Maybe I do have a chance! Hehehe.

I get attracted to anything with 2 wheels (motorcycles) to 4 wheels (cars!). And not to mention anything with 2 wings! Hahaha. I dont want to be a commercial pilot, flying a whole big aeroplance isnt really my kinda dream. I simply want to be able to fly myself, and perhaps someone else, to where ever we want to go. There would be no restrictions, no boundaries, no rules, the sky is the limit.

Whenever I'm feeling unhappy, I can simply take a short flight... hehehe. Just like taking a short drive. Allowing me to clear my thoughts a bit. However I dont think I have the ability and clear mind to ever fly a plane. Hahaha. My logic is simply no-logic at all. I have no common sense, and my IQ level is as low as it can be. Sigh... so much for a big dream ey? Hence now I've become a passenger for all my life. And tomorrow I'm going to be another passenger on the plane flying to Melburne! woohoo!! I'm finally going to melb... hehehe. Checked the weather - clear skies predicted for the next 3 days *grins*

Until I come back, adious!!! Have a great week everyone!!!

I can climb gates!

"Su tien ah...come here. I want to ask you something."

Yea?

"You said you climbed over ah yesterday? How did you climb over?"

Hahaha... climb lah! I take the chairs and climb loh!

"Oh...wah. So high you can climb ah? Got the spikes on the gate somemore."

Hmmm...Yaloh!

"Hahaha...then how did you get down? from the other side?"

I use the fence and the gate lah.

"Hahaha...I see. Ok lah. Good girl. You didnt get yourself injured. Good girl."

-_-"

That was my uncle asking me how I climbed over the gate yesterday... for those who missed the RAGE post, I was locked outside my house while hanging the clothes. I had to climb over the gate, walk over to my cousin's house in slippers too small for my feet to get the key and finally entered the house.

He actually found it quite amusing that he locked me outside and that I climbed over the gate... hmm. I have the potential to be a robber! Hahaha. And yes, he calls me "su tien" because he can never pronounce my name correctly. Hahaha... "su tien ah, su tien" Even my grandmother laughed... :P

Sigh... what a morning yesterday was.

My apologies

My apologies to those who read my previous post which was full of anger. I greatly greatly apologise. I have a bad temper and I know that is no excuse for me swearing continuously. But I can swear that no one was hurt not scolded nor annoyed during that whole event. I apologise again.

I have promised someone that I will not use the f-word ever again! and I will keep to my promise. I really should watch what I say and write. I am a 21 year old and should act like a responsible one. Yes, I'm very sorry.

Thank you.

Have you ever been in love?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

- Neil Gaiman 1960


Hmm... some quote I got about love. Hehehe... I think its pretty true. But then this view on love is only the other side of it. The side when people get hurt because of love. There is always the beautiful side of it. The side that makes us have butterflies in the stomach, the side that makes us smile at the sight of them, the side that us feel smitten when he/she does something sweet... ^_^

"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense."

- Mark Overby


hehehe... Love is Beautiful.

The return on ME!!!

hahahaha...omg... havent been online and blogging for 1 week!!! Believe me, for a person who used to be online 24-7 and blogging everyday, that is horrible!!! Exams lah, what else? Sigh.. I just finished my 3rd paper today, 3 in a row. Basically I've been to hell and back. In fact something happened, something so bad I dont think I want to talk about it. I almost couldnt sit for exams. For the first time in my life, I had a nervous breakdown before my first paper. Hahaha... omg...I even feel a bit embarrassed blogging about it here, but I know you guys very nice wan right? RIGHT???? One last paper next thursday and I'm officially done for the semester!!! OMG, I cant wait to celebrate, although I am already celebrating now! :P

Remember my last post about losing weight? Hahaha... I think I might have managed to *blush* I lost another kg just this past week during exams. I felt so dead, I went to weigh myself, just to tell myself that I'm still alright - O_O" I dont think I have ever weighed that for the last 5 years!!! I couldnt believe my eyes! hahaha...but oh well, exams are almost done and I will be EATING AGAIN!!! EAT EAT EAT!! wahahaha....paradise... *dreams away* People, we LIVE TO EAT, NOT EAT TO LIVE ok....sigh.. always remember that.. ^_^

Apart from that, I SHOULD be going to Melbourne on the 27th June, will be there for a week. So during that time, my 'hacker' will takeover I suppose. hahaha. I'll be back on the 4th July... hehehe...cant wait to go shopping! But then no $$$ *cry* And hopefully the weather is not too cold then, gosh! The weather in Perth has been very cold for the past few weeks, we barely saw the sun for more than 4 hrs a day! And everyday I'll be shaking in the cold... brrr... my fingers froze and my nose froze too! Crazy weather, its never been this cold in June... imagine in Melbourne, I'm going to freeze standing (not a very nice thought)

I was meant to pay Siao Wei a visit when I am there, but the sweet girl is going back on 22nd :( Sigh... now I really have no one in Melbourne. Oh...you guys remember Hin Keong? Nicholas? He's going to Melbourne too!!! What a coincidence right? I was even joking wit him! OMG! we dont even have time to meet up in Perth for coffee, we have to go to Melbourne to do that! :P Hopefully we can catch each other for a drink when we are there.. hehehe

Ok lah..this boring post is all about updates. Nothing much. When I have something more interesting going on I will post it! hehehe...take care ppl!

sigh

have been sick for the weekend.....
fever, flu, sore throat....u name it....
bad bad bad....have been sleeping a lot....in fact, i felt guilty for not studying...since i have so many work to do...damn lame rite.....don't know why but this semester, everyone seems so hardworking..its only week 3 n ppl are crowding the library...all studying...damn pressure, i tell u...
on fri, i already detected (whoa, wat a word) that im gonna have sore throat..so i went to ate some medicine,...then on sat, ada fever....wha......afternoon, flu attack me...whoa......at night had to go n see doc.....so this morning, i didnt felt any better as im still coughing like hell, body hot like hell......damn...... hate being sick....i've always been so healthy.....
anyways, hope that im gonna get well soon as i have a quiz on thursday n i havent study yet....

-pui san-

Muscles vs Fats

Well, they say muscles weigh more than fat. Its ok. I knew that. Getting on with my story...

When I came back to Perth, I weighed xx kg (hehehe...not going to tell you how heavy I am lah duh!!). Now, 4 months later, I weigh (xx-1) kg. Sounds like a great achievement right??? Hahaha... considering how I stuff myself silly with potatoes sometimes! :P

Studying 'quietly' for my exams these days, I couldnt help staring back at my own face. You see, usually I dont even look at myself in the mirror for more than 2 minutes (God knows why) My study table is actually a multipurpose table, it has a huge mirror staring right back at me! And guess wat???

*wails* My face has gone fatter!!! That definitely took my concentration away from my books!!! *wails* How can it be?! How can it be?!?! I know I have a broad face lah, but it has gone fatter!!!! ARH!!!!!! My cheeks!!! They look like some 'char siew pau' now!!! And my jawline! I can barely see it!!! It's all covered in fat!! *wails*

Since I can lose 1 kg and still look so much fatter! I have come to the conclusion that I have lost lots of muscles and gained even lots more of fat!!! *wails*

If I was still a kid, or have a very adorable baby face, seriuosly, I wouldnt mind! But me!!! My face!!! What the hell?!?! Now I look like some fat-faced (oops...whole body fat lah!!!) person walking around Perth!!! *wails* *bangs head on wall* Why my face?? Why is it always my face??

Sigh, enough of complaining and wailing. What is the obsession with being thin anyway? Well, I used to not give a damn about being fat. Well, actually, I'm quite happy with my weight/amount of fat that my body carries (hahaha), its just that I dont wish to gain ANY MORE!!! I wish to maintain my weight/whatever you call it. Now that I have lost muscles (damn!) and gained a higher proportion of FAT instead, I am devastated... well, not that devastated, but pretty sad lah :P

Sigh...and I thought of eating myself silly at Melbourne. Someone is going to have a good time teasing me about my FAT!!!

Aloha

hello......
surprised??? hehehehehe....i know im lazy to create an account...instead i use your username and password.....shame on me.... :(
anyways, since i havent blog for such a long time, it feels good to be here again......
i know u've been goin through lots of things lately........n u r super stressed out, but im sure it will soon be over for u....
anyways, things for me..is okay gua.....started classes for bout 3 weeks now...already busy n have 2 assignments on hand......3 lab reports.....sigh.....
remember i told u bout chia li aka julee?? a friend of mine in uni...i was quite close to her n now i felt that im drifting apart from her...i seriously dont blame her.......she is a very independent girl...most probably becos of her financial n family prob, she became very independent.... she teaches tuition few times a week, she study(uni) by loan(means she gonna pay back herself later lar), she is supporting her own car(2nd hand)(as in like, she pay for the car, etc), she is a Amway member n now she is a GenGold member(remember QuestNet...bout the gold thingy)....i seriously praise her in watever things she is doin now.......so capable, independent...in fact, to me , she is sorta like a role model......ever since she joined GenGold(few weeks ago), i seem to have nothing to talk to her.....not all the time but most of the time...is either she is busy giving tuition or looking for prospect(customer lar)......we used to chat on the phone almost everynight... but now....i dont know...once a week??? i doubt that......
i nv blame her or anything..maybe its just me who is asking for too much in a friend....im actually afraid of loosing her...wahahaha...sounds serious....no lar.....its just....u understand rite...
anyways thats the story for now n im goin to take my shower now...ahahhaha
take care

post by -pui san-

"Mamak type"

Interesting to know that I dont look like the "mamak type". Hahaha...weird. I was talking to a friend while studying, and came the topic of EATING!!! Damn, I really miss Steven's Corner! Not because its clean! It's not!!! But I like it there :P Especially the cheese naan, roti, and not to mention my dad likes their mamak mee goreng~

"I miss steven's corner!!!"

"Huh? You go there?"

"err...yea! why? cannot ah?"

"not cannot lah! you just dont look the type"

"I dont look the type?? got type wan ah!"

"Of course! you look like the stay at home watch tv till 10pm then sleep type...HAHAHA"

"omg...wat a nerdy idea!"

"hahaha...yup! but now that I know you, you look like the watch tv till 12 type"

"wow! what an improvement! I'm upgraded from 10pm to 12pm!!!"

(Stupid uncle Law!!! anyway..)

Damn!!! I give people that impression? I really dont look the mamak type meh? How only considered look like mamak type ah??? Not that I want to look like any mamak type, but I dont hope to look like some goody-goody-2-shoes lah!!! Okok! I digress! Another friend of mine told me I'm that sort when I first met her, and I think that impression has not changed....why???

1. I dont drink! She drinks, quite a lot
2. I dont go clubbing, she used to club every weekend
3. I dont swear, not until this year at least. Every other word of hers is vulgar, LoL
4. I dont stay out later than 12am, or try not to
5. I am a "hardcore" person who does assignments and studies (yea right!)
6. and what other reasons? Only she knows...

so now I know what sort of impression I give people - not "mamak" type + goody-goody-2-shoes type

How boring can my life be???

Being the eldest

I am the eldest among my 3 siblings in my family. And those who stand at the same position as me, would know how difficult it is to be the eldest.

The eldest always have to help out with chores
The eldest always have to tolerate the younger ones
The eldest always have to give way to the younger ones
The eldest always get blamed for anything that goes wrong
The eldest is always expected to set a "good example"
The eldest is always expected to "understand" what parents say
The eldest is expected to know how to "think" for everyone
The eldest rarely gets what she/he wants
The eldest rarely gets the affection and attention she/he needs

It's really not easy being the eldest. And when you have 2 younger sisters, it doesnt get any easier. Since young, I demand a lot of attention, care and affection. I rarely felt it, often resulting in me throwing my temper at my parents. I still remember the horrific days/nights where I would be shouting at my parents, crying, demanding for things that I deserve. Shouting at them because my sisters always gets what they want when I dont. There were a few times that I almost ran away from home. I almost went to stay with my best friend, I even rang her and asked if I can come over and spend a few nights because I can't take it at home anymore.

I felt unloved, I felt pushed around, I felt like the whole world is going against me. "my parents dont love me, they only love my sisters" was the thought that kept circling my head during those teenage years. I am one of their daughters too, there are times, lots of times, when I just wish to be pampered and loved like the youngest too. I am only human, there is a limit to which I can handle "being the eldest" all the time.

I admit, I have very low tolerance level, I'm not the sort of person who would give in and give in without end. I am a highly eruptive and active volcano. The end results? Nothing is done, which is the greatest cause of my heartaches. No matter how many times I try to state the FACT about my sisters in front of my parents, they just get away with it. Ever since primary school, till now when I'm almost finishing my degree. Things have not changed, not a bit. There are times when I simply refuse to go home because I'm tired of facing the same old problem year after year. I get tired too, I get sick of the problem.

The saying that the youngest is always the most pampered is no doubt very true. I know my sister can be very adorable, but I feel that when she does something wrong, she has to be told of. There is no such thing as "she's still young" because every year, she grows. I dont understand how I can grow older and older every year and "forgive your sister who is still young" when my sister seem to somehow remained in her childhood years. When dealing with these sort of problems at home, there is no such word as "justice". It simply doesnt exist. The only phrase that exists is "you are the eldest, she is still young. Tolerate lah."

Well, you want to know what? I've been tired of tolerating since primary school and that tiredness doesnt simply wear off as I reach adulthood! It doesnt!

Moments in Life

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyonearound you is crying.

Don't count the years, count the memories...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!

Face LOVE with an open heart

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

我愛你不是因為你是誰，而是我在你面前可以是誰。

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚，值得的那一位，不會要你哭。

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

那人不是你所想般愛你，但不代表那人不是全心全意地愛你。

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

一個真正的朋友是向著你伸手，觸動你心靈的人。

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

掛念一個人最差的方式，就是你坐在他身旁，而知道你不能擁有他。

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with yoursmile.

就算你不快樂也不要皺眉，因為你永不知道誰會愛上你的笑容。

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

在世界裡你可能只是某人，但對某人你可能是全世界。

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

不要花時間在一個不會花時間在你身上的人。

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when wefinally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

可能神要我們在遇到那位對的人之前先遇上一些錯的人，讓我們遇到那位對先生/對小姐時懂得珍惜。

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

不要因為完結而哭，要為曾經發生而微笑。

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting andjust be more careful about who you trust next time around.

這個世界永遠也會有一些傷害你的人，你要做的就是繼續去信人和小心你下次信的人。

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

在你嘗試了解其他人和盼望其他人明白你之前，先把你自己變成一個更好的人和了解你自己。

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

不要太努力去找，最好的東西是在你最預計不到的時候出現。

My heart is broken right now...

Great Expectations

with great expectations come great disappointments. Does that mean we should not expect so much? Should we be little contented earthlings instead of always wishing and hoping, or even working for the better?

This world is a materialistic world. To survive, you have to be the best. I believe the successful people we see out there are people who never stopped pushing themselves to perform the best. They never gave up, never backed away. They hold great expectations of themselves and work hard in achieving their dreams.

But there are always times when these expectations are not met, when we are disappointed, because of ourselves, or because of someone else, or even because of an unexpected event that caused an undesirable outcome. If its because of ourselves, we can only push ourselves harder and try again. If its because of someone else, what do you do?

What if that person is someone you have trusted, someone who is close to you? It would be a lie to say that you will not be angry at that person if he/she disappointed you. But if that person is someone we love, some people resort to keeping that disappointment to themselves. Others resort to voicing it out. Which is the better way? Which is the 'correct' way of dealing with it?

I have been disappointed, countless times. The reason? I still cannot identify. It might be me, it might be the other person, or it simply might be because of a miscommunication. How have I dealt with it? I have kept it to myself. This is not the best way, nor the correct way. Simply because it wont solve the problem.

I guess we can only rely on ourselves. This way we do not place too high expectations on the other party and therefore reduce the chances of getting disappointed.

Show me the Money

They say money cannot buy happiness. Money is not everything in this world.

But I say without money I cannot be where I am today. Without money there are many things that wont be possible. Money may not buy the true happiness that most people crave for, but it can buy us satisfaction. Agree?

A lot of the things that I have now is a result of people's kindness, thoughtfulnes and perhaps an act of charity? Uni tuition fees is placing a heavier and heavier burden on my dad, and I always feel guilty for being a high-maintenance daughter. I have never asked for anything. I just take what's been given to me. With the current exchange rate, all expenses are more expensive than they already are. Each penny I spend carries the hardwork of my dad, each year I go back, my dad looks so much older than the year before. My heart aches to see my dad working so hard, while I am living a comfortable life here.

Wealth has never been my goal in life. But circumstances seems to tell me that my only solution is a high-paying job. Unfortunately I might have not have the grades to make it, I know I'm not an academic, I perform better in practical tasks. But now without a significant degree, you can go nowhere.

This world is very materialistic. It is a sad fact, but we have to fight for things that we want. It simply will not fall into our laps without effort. It is a harsh world out there, so brace yourselves and fight for what you want.

Woman Running in Time

Whoa...this is the freakist thing I heard about. Woman Running in Time. Do you know what that means? I didnt initially..and now I do...

They are YOUNG WOMEN who are looking into MARRIAGE at an EARLY AGE. omg...when I first heard that one of my friend is looking to get married by 25, and MUST get married by 25, I was stunned! She's the same age as me, and is doing software engineering I think, not too sure. When she first went out with my friend, after 2 weeks into the relationship, she asked him the deadliest question...

"Are you looking into marrying me few years down the track? Because I want to get married by 25 years old. And if you are not serious about me, then I see no point in us"

Hahaha...imagine the look on my friend's face! O_O I don't know what he answered, but they went out for over a year before calling it quits end of last year. And now she's going out with a WORKING singaporean guy. So I guess she's finally looking at the right places! :P No way my friend is ready for marriage so early! He's still like a kid! Hahaha...

omg...I cant believe there are actually people like this...